Threads of Change

We were three sisters and had no brothers, yet the festival of Rakhi held great prominence in our lives. In a joint family we celebrated grandly, dressed in finery, cooked and bought gifts to be exchanged with our cousins. Thread Rakhis were tied with some seriousness and we imagined this bond to be sacrosanct. As we grew older and families grew insular this festival became a routine and somewhere there was cognisance of blood being thickest and this “Rakhi – Thread” Ceremony was more a fun ritual, of getting together and feasting.

The advent of the “Hallmark” Culture has catapulted this festival into a grand jamboree. No homespun simplicity and the sanctimony of this ritualfeels compromised. It’s now about themes, exorbitantly priced designer Rakhis and both brothers and  sisters flaunt their gifts and collections. I wonder if there is any “Sadbhavna” a true bonding, remaining.

RakshaBandhan,  is symbolic of protection of sisters by brothers against adversity. This was celebrated to strengthen political ties among kingdoms. Porus refrained from striking Alexander the Great to stick to his fraternal promise to Roxanne. Humayun, restored the kingdom of Chittor to keep his promise to Rakhi sister Rani Karnavati and even though she committed “Jauhar” he put her son on the throne.In Mahabharata, the epic novel Draupadi tied a piece of cloth on Lord Krishna’s wrist, as he was bleeding profusely and  Lord Krishna helped Draupadi during the episode of Vastraharan by ensuring she was always covered with a sari. Tagore used the concept of brotherhood, togetherness and ‘the thread of protection’ as a secular motif  of unity to protest against the British’s Partition Policy by depicting unity among the two communities.

Historically territorial exogamy was practised and girls were married outside the place of residence. The brother went to get her back especially for this festival. There are some insidious layers of manipulation in a rural patriarchal setup, to prevail upon the girl with the emotional blackmail of eternal brotherhood bonds. The women surrender their  rights in their maternal home and the in-laws’ home becomes their only home. Till Death! Sinister as it sounds the women really have no options despite having brothers who swear to protect them. You see a similar scene playing out regularly even today in various shades and hues both in rural and urban communities.

Rethinking this, do we really need a thread tied on a wrist, on a particular day to proclaim our sibling love and a brother’s oath to protect hissister.True Raksha (protection) of girls or women can only come from radical changes in patriarchal mindsets and liberal acceptance of the girl’s rightful place in family and society. Not only for that one day, the moment of the ritual but a lifelong bond of empathy and love for not only one’s blood relatives but also for other women in this world.

Tagore wanted change, Universal Brotherhood. It can be possible if we move away from this outward to an inner connection.To misquote Rumi, “Threads are a pretext. It is the inner bond that draws one person to another, not rakhis.”

“Words are a pretext. It is the inner bond that draws one person to another, not words.”
― Rumi